Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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