Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize