I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
