Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
