You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can text with my tongue
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
