Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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