I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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