Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
