Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
