you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
