Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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