Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
