My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
