time to smoke my breakfast
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
