He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
