I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
