i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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