I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
