She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize