need another drink. this is the easiest way
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
