yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i came on her dog
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Terrible idea I love it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
