Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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