yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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