Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
