Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
