i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
