There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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