You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
