i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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