3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
