I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
