DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Houston, we have a squirter
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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