and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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