My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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