I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
