I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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