So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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