I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
