dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
