id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize