hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
