wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
