she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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