i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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