Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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