Plan B is the new Plan A
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
