Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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