Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize