I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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