3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
