So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
