Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Soap is not a condiment
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
