it was like eating out sand paper
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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