her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
