If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
