Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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