im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize