I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
