How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
