dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
