like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Actions speak louder than pants.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Randomize
