went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
