Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
